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John Mulaney Got Cheated Out of $120K | Netflix Is A Joke

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“I didn’t drink water the entire time. I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and Adderall.”

Watch John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous, only on Netflix.
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The official hub of Netflix stand-up, comedy series, films, and all things funny — curated by the world’s most advanced algorithm and a depressed, yet lovable, cartoon horse. Their unlikely friendship is our story…

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John Mulaney Got Cheated Out of $120K | Netflix Is A Joke
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44 comments

@Jamessavoy November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
I dunno, he sounds pretty articulate. Was it him or that 120k college education as an English major? Pretty sure he's got some professors out there saying they had him as a student as a way to socialize.
@huhididntcatchthat9624 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
I went to college. For the whole time. Holy shit, right? I just got a letter from my college, which was fun ’cause mail, you know? So I open up the letter and they said, “Hey, John, it’s college. You remember?” I say, “Yes, of course.” And they said… how did they phrase it? They said, “Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money.” I found this peculiar. You see, what had happened, New York, was that when I was a student, I had paid them tuition money. Every semester, two semesters a year, for four years. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but rounding up, back in 1999 dollars, it was about $15,000 a semester, two semesters a year, for four years. So it was about $30,000 a year for four years. So it was about $120,000, okay? So roughly speaking, I gave my college about $120,000. Okay, so you might say that I already gave them $120,000 and now you have the audacity to ask me for more money. What kind of a cokehead relative… What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You spent it already? I gave you more money than the Civil War cost and you fucking spent it already? Where’s my money? I felt like Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life when he’s screaming at his uncle Billy. [imitates Jimmy Stewart] “Where’s the money? Where’s that money, you fat motherfucker? Where’s my money? Stay down on the ground, you motherfucker!” That’s not the dialogue. But do you remember that scene from It’s a Wonderful Life? Great movie, Frank Capra, 1946. A hundred and twenty thousand dollars! I have friends I went to college with and they’re like, “You should donate and be a good alumnus.” And they wear shirts that say “school” and it’s like, look, if you’re an adult still giving money to your college, college is a $120,000 hooker and you are an idiot who fell in love with her. She’s not going to do anything else for you. It’s done. In their letter they were like, “Hey, it’s been a while since you’ve given us money.” I was like, “Hey, it’s been a while since you’ve housed and taught me. I thought our transaction was over. I gave you $120,000 and you gave me a weird cinder block room with a Reservoir Dogs poster on it and the first real heartbreak of my life, and probably HPV, and then we called it a day.” Probably.

Also, what did I get for my money? What is college? Stop going until we figure it out. Because I went to college, I have no idea what it was. I went to college, I was 18 years old, I looked like I was 11. I lived like a goddamn Ninja Turtle. I didn’t drink water the entire time. I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and Adderall. College was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep? But instead of winning money, you lose $120,000. By the way, I agreed to give them $120,000 when I was 17 years old. With no attorney present. That’s illegal. They tricked me. They tricked me like Brendan Dassey on Making a Murderer. They tricked me like poor Brendan. They pulled me out of high school. I was in sweatpants, all confused. Two guys in clip-on ties are like, “Come on, son, do the right thing. Sign here and be an English major.” And I was like, “Okay.” Yes, you heard me, an English major. I paid $120,000. How dare you clap? How dare you clap for the worst financial decision I ever made in my life? I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t.
@hugohuysmans9666 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
How much did he pay?
@charlottesanatomy November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
As an incoming freshman, this joke just gets more and more relatable
@WolleWip November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
woulda been funnier if he had added up the semester payments to perhaps $140,000. so much for a college education, right?
@Vaedyx November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
He says it people cheer. Charlie Kirk says it and people explode 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@karrihart1 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Add in still healing from the abuse and trauma inflicted on me by my college theatre program, and this sums up my response to being asked for alumni donations.
@RikThunder33 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
And here I thought this was about a director who got cheated by Netflix...
Hi I'm new here. Why is your channel name in the title.
@sagejennings4342 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
The trick I learned about the Jane Austen thing: save money by looking up college's reading lists, public on their website, and just buy those books. The professor will.just tell you to read it anyways.
@Project_415 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Hey, college student here. Everything past 3:08 is my general sentiment and experience
@FatTony_Football November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Rent free in my head, and so true
@k4eru20 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
all the recent controversy around him is so troubling because kid gorgeous and comeback kid are literally the funniest comedy specials ive ever watched i laugh at every joke, every single time. they're so funny to me
@AHersheyHere November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
With inflation from 1999 to 2019, his tuition was ~184k.
@Gauge-ed5yl November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
😂😂😂

I wonder how much money Colleges have lost in donations from this bit.

More than the Civil War cost, that's for sure.
@Kibella November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
4:47
@scott7695 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
He sounds like a white Chris Rock...similar cadence and style
@MyName123. November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
MY FAVORITE STAND-UP COMEDY CLIP EVER!! 🤣 IT'S SO ACCURATE!
@bridgecross November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
On the flip side, if you break down his act you can hear someone with an English degree from Georgetown University. So college shaped him into someone who got FIVE Netflix specials. I'll take that financial decision.
@MWmota November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Love that clickbait title! You got me.
@baxatakbaxatak2014 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
And Anna got cheated out of Happily Ever After, you scumbag.
@tylerphillips1889 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
I went to college and got a bachelor's degree. 5 years later I joined the army. Why? Because my bachelor's degree was essentially a hoax. Not one job I've ever applied for asked about it. Not once.
@Wet_Willys_Wetter_Water November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
I find it hilarious that all you are in here trashing colleges because id be willing to bet there were some people in your life who tried to tell you that you were making a huge mistake and you ridiculed that person and looked at them like an idiot. Now low and behold youre begging that same person for a bailout. All because you were a know it all prick who wanted to avoid real work.

Eff you. Enjoy the lack of skills and decades of debt
@Torterra625 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
This man looks like Andrew Garfield’s clone and no one can tell me otherwise.
@RayM-dp3xl November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
My university (living in the UK) asked me for a donation recently. Tuition is slightly different in this country and if you're a UK student it's paid for but you still have to pay towards rent / living costs / course materials etc.
Considering they destroyed my department and made it impossible to do an MA there, wasted money on a load of stupid courses in musical theatre and dancing whilst neglecting the courses they already had, and made lecturers redundant in the middle of students' courses, they did not receive any money from myself, because they will just waste it on some stupid dance stuff.
Out of spite I applied to an elite university for my Masters degree and got in lol, I'll be taking my money there instead.
@Bishlambo November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
My favorite comedian
@janelliot5643 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
How many times do you think he says $120,000 in 5 min?



10X😂
@blackandgold676 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
An English major is a great prep for law school... and 120k... in the rear-view mirror...phhh.
@blackandgold676 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
He sounds like Jon Lovitz when he's doing a schtick!
@AaronDennis1111 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
College is legit the worst. $58k for an as in it and have never been able to get a job in it.... Wtf
@Archisphera November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
To pay $120,00 to specialize in a language you already know. 😂
@cooperhaney3949 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
He's so clearly coked out of his mind
@donvolio4089 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
The inflection on AUDAAAACITYYYYY
@lulospawn November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
"worst financial decision in my life"

Coming from a drug addict that bought a rolex with a CC and pawned it for coke cash, that's quite a statement.
@MMC-jp1gl November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
I agree. The nerve of places that you gave money to and then they just assume you'll give it to them for free. Why? Emo attachment? It's the biggest scam EVER. And yes, I too was an "English" major and now do NOTHING associated with my degree. God bless~
@Eric-mp2yw November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
the double tap on the coke head relative was a breadcrumb
@SapphireKaiAu November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
This had me like choking laughing 😂😂😂
@eandroid5483 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Well, you have to admit he's good with words... With that English major
@fatwoul November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
I used to get those alumni begging letters. One time I got a phonecall. I told the poor student volunteer that university was the worst time in my life and left me with crippling depression. I never heard from them again.
@jackiedragonfly2461 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Excellent! And true...
@livinlicious November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Hahaha, so funny how Americans make incredibly stupid decisions.
Hahaha, collapse of society, hahaha so funny. Let's make jokes.
Oh and don't forget, prison rape jokes are also funny. Also my wife is such a boring nag. Don't forget these jokes.
Hahaha so funny. I am dead from laughing.
@sylvanticx November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
He’s missing out on not reading Austen. Maybe not if he didn’t bother with Count of Monte Cristo or Tale of Two Cities or other hoity-toity fancy pants books, but Pride and Prejudice is worthwhile.
@samanthab1923 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
Georgetown is now $67K a year 😂
@claymathewselevator8121 November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
How dare you clap 🤣
@FablestoneSeries November 21, 2024 - 3:38 pm
We need to rethink our education system. It's been mostly unchanged for a thousand years.

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