Movies To Video Games Reviews
Review #30
–This is a Fan Requested Review–
Last Action Hero for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (and also found on the Sega Genesis) is fully reviewed and analyzed as compared to the actual movie itself.
Feel free to comment. More movies to video games reviews coming soon.. suggestions and feedback welcome and encouraged.
To save on space and time in the video, the score tallies and descriptions of how I got to the scores are listed here instead.
They are on a 0-10 scale with 10 being the best score possible:
Story Accuracy to the Movie 2.0 out of 10
(Some cutscene moments do have some similar things but not really. The bosses I suppose match up but even that is out of place to the film. The main guy is Jack at least so that matches up even though he never uses his gun at any point like in the film.)
Music Soundtrack Accuracy to the Movies 0.5 out of 10
(This is almost as bad as it gets. A heavy metal soundtrack and we get repetitive, annoying beats found throughout the whole game that all sound like weird variations of the same song that the music writer created. Just horrible. )
Game Difficulty 1.0 out of 10
(The game is way to hard at many points. Hit detection issues, starting over at beginning of stage any time you die. Limited lives. No continues, double and triple teamed at points. Just way too hard. Boss battles are actually easier than anything else.)
Overall Fun 0.0 out of 10
(I think I said enough on why this game isnt fun at any point and leave it at that.)
Final Score: 0.75
TERRIBLE
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11. The limited amount of lives and continues - now this MIGHT be all right, except for the fact that reasons 1-10 of why the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis of Last Action ZERO suck will combine on you, making this reason - reason 11 of why the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis of Last Action ZERO suck. You don't earn lives and continues, either - reasons 1-11 are why the 2 versions of Last Action ZERO needed some type of way to earn extra lives (typically, by getting a certain amount of points).
12. Oh boy, the score - I said that the score is absolutely USELESS (in that paragraph, where I don't care much for points unless they are ACTUALLY USEFUL) - that is true. However, the developers could have (and should have) made the score where you get an extra life every 50,000 points or so. I mean, it's not like the developers don't know how to program stuff like that (although not caring to do so is worse).
13. You know, it's funny (and sad, actually) that I actually find more fun with Kung Fu and Trojan for the NES than with Last Action ZERO for any system (except MAYBE the game boy and game gear versions of Last Action Hero/ZERO - those at least do SOME things right). That brings to reason 13 of why the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis of Last Action ZERO suck - they're not fun in the slightest! I mean, they're extremely boring (to the point where I would play Kung Fu and Trojan for the NES - and those are ARCADE ports), extremely bland and less fun than getting a mild case of influenza (commonly called "the flu").
14. Where's the action? Seriously, unless you consider PUNCHING enemies to death repeatedly (and getting bored out of your mind doing so), I don't consider any of the Last Action Hero/ZERO games action at all. I mean, in an action game, there's guns, there's knives, stuff like that - not here, though. (OK fine, I guess the gun-shooting guys have guns (no duh), but Jack doesn't and he doesn't get any weapons like that (or any weapon at ALL, like in Streets of Rage/Double Dragon/Final Fight)).
6. The variety is very low, if not non-existent. I'm talking about the 4 enemies that appear throughout the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis versions (the baseball bat guys (which look like Ash Ketchum, now that I think about it)), the knife guys, the Molotov Cocktail throwing guys (yeah, forget them) and the gun-shooting guys (forget them too) - 3 of them appear on the FIRST level! (Those 3 enemies are the baseball bat guys, the knife guys and one Molotov Cocktail shooting guy)! Yeah, way to go, developers - become even more incompetent. (Typically speaking, in beat em ups, the enemies do have some stronger form (which is indicated by colors or stuff like that)). Nope, not here, though - yet another reason why these 2 versions in this video have literally ZERO depth. (Wow, easy bosses but bull plop cheap enemies - that's freaking horrific).
7. The hit detection is horrid - seriously, the fact that the enemies can just GANG up on you, while you can't do absolute PLOP is horrific (this is why these versions of Last Action ZERO needed weapons or some kind of special move)!
8. The graphics are bland as H-F-I-L in both versions of Last Action ZERO shown here - seriously, the character in the game doesn't look like Jack Slater - and no, DO NOT TELL ME it's technical limitations, because the developers of Batman Returns for the SNES made Batman look like Batman and not just some generic-looking character that looks bland as H-F-I-L.
9. The music - ooh boy, that music is annoying as H-F-I-L (because of it's guitar riff and of it's blandness). The funny thing is, it loops too (throughout the whole game).
10. The depth in these 2 versions shown here are near-zero, if not absolutely ZERO (hence why I'm calling Last Action Hero - LAST ACTION ZERO)! The reasons I stated above show that.
Another thing: why in the blue H-F-I-L is there a score counter, especially when points do absolutely NOTHING? I mean, I never cared much about points/score in the first place (unless the points/score give you lives, extra abilities or extra health (like it does in Amagon for the NES (where the points ACTUALLY gave extra health for your Megagon form, which 70,000 points means you can have a Megagon with full health), Mario 3 for the NES (where every 80,000 points gives you an N-spade card, Super Mario Land (where every 100,000 points gives you a continue) or Jaws for the NES (where if you reached 30,000 points, the game gives you a submarine) - meaning, the points would have to be of ACTUAL USE and not bull plop stuff), so why put it in there? I mean, there's no scoreboard or anything like that. I'm sure it's leftover from the arcades - but the arcades HAD actual reasons to put the score in there! These 2 versions of Last Action Zero shown in the video don't have any ACTUAL reason to have a score counter, especially since it does absolutely NOTHING to help you at ALL!
Reasons why the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis versions of Last Action ZERO suck (Part 1):
1. You get no weapons. (Seriously, you can't pick up any weapons or anything like that). (This is ONE of the reasons why both the Super Nintendo and the Sega Genesis of Last Action ZERO have ZERO depth). I can name at least a few beat em ups that let you use weapons (such as baseball bats, knives and stuff like that).
2. You get NO SPECIAL MOVES or SUPER MOVES at ALL - you don't EARN any special moves (unlike Cutthroat Island, which is at least TEN TIMES better than the two versions of Last Action ZERO shown here), you don't get any special moves, you get NOTHING. (Typically speaking, in a beat em up, you get SOME special move - typically a special move where it drains your health every time you use it - but there's no such thing in the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis versions of Last Action ZERO).
3. You get no combos, no blocks, no counters, NOTHING like that - isn't Jack Slater SUPPOSED to be a KARATE EXPERT? I mean, in these versions (that this reviewer shows in this video), Jack Slater ONLY gets a punch, jump and a kick (that's a VERY LIMITED repertoire of moves right there). Billy and Jimmy Lee have a TON of moves (if you ever played ANY Double Dragon game, that is) at their disposal and those two would kick the H-F-I-L out of Jack Slater.
4. You get hardly any health power-ups in the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis version of Last Action ZERO and the health power-ups that you do get BARELY increase your health (yes, the health bar's pretty big in the Super Nintendo version, but it still barely increases your health).
5. You start ALL the way back to the beginning if you do die - I mean, seriously, AREN'T these 2 versions of Last Action ZERO BORING ENOUGH? (Typically, in MOST beat em ups (not all, but most of them), when you die, you re-spawn RIGHT WHERE YOU DIED - now, I might NOT have minded the re-spawning all the way back to the beginning IF these 2 versions of Last Action ZERO wasn't boring as H-F-I-L, more bland than the Super Nintendo game Alien Vs Predator (and at least THAT game had a special move AND weapons and a combo system (yes, that game CAN become bland and boring, but it at least has a slide move)) and had more variety in itself, but nope, it couldn't do that.
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